A New Paradigm in Vehicular Safety

Bonus Bogus Story

China -

A leading automobile manufacturer in China is hoping to replace conventional seat-belts with 'qi-belts'.

Mr Zhuang Che, spokesman for Qia Motors revealed this to reporters in a news conference at the company's headquarters in Wuhan yesterday.

'Conventional seat-belts have been proven to save lives. However, they are made based on Newtonian physics. We are convinced that equally effective, if not better safety may be achieved using a system based on traditional Chinese philosophy,' said Mr Zhuang.

The novel system of qi-belts will be based on the ancient Chinese concept of qi, an invisible universal force.

'Qi cannot be measured using any instrument or device because modern science has yet to come up with something to measure it - that is the failure of modern science. However, the potency of qi has been demonstrated by practitioners all across the country. We have sufficient anecdotal accounts to conclude that it will offer adequate protection to passengers in the situation of vehicular collision. I am sure you have seen TV scenes of qigong masters having cars run over their abdomen without any apparent harm done to them, right?'

'Furthermore, conventional seat-belts are made of synthetic materials that seek to restrain the passenger. Qi-belts are all-natural and work on the more holistic principle of balancing the forces of motion and stillness when the vehicle meets an impact, so it's better for the passenger.'

According to Mr Zhuang, qigong masters working for the company will 'yun' or transfer their qi to car seats, thus imbuing them with the invisible force.

'All our qigong masters are certified by the National Qigong Council, which is made up of top qigong practitioners, so the quality of our qi-belt is assured.'

The qi-belt prototype will undergo field tests next month. The company is in the process of obtaining dummies for the crash-tests.