SMA taken over in "coup"

angry doc notes that proposed amendments to the SMA Constitution tabled for the latest AGM were not discussed due to "the lack of of quorum", which of course gives him an idea...


Bogus Story

Unknowns knock out veterans at SMA polls
Caught off-guard by big turnout, longtime members lose to fresh faces

Singapore - The Singapore Medical Association (SMA), the national medical organisation representing the majority of doctors in Singapore, has seen a dramatic changing of the guard - which some members are describing as nothing short of a leadership grab.

When SMA held its annual general meeting on April 5, everyone expected the usual: No more than 30 or 40 members would turn up at its College Road centre, and a prepared slate of candidates would be voted into office easily. Instead, more than 100 people came, the majority of whom had joined SMA only in recent months.

And when the election of office bearers began, almost every position was challenged by new faces, who won by wide majorities.

In the end, nine out of 16 council spots went to the newcomers.

Outgoing president Dr Wong Chiang Ying, said: 'There were many faces I had not seen before, and I found that very strange.'

'In previous years, even if there were new members, they would be known to one or more of the older members.'

The first indication that something was afoot came when Dr Wong, who has served on the SMA council since 1995, was challenged and defeated handsomely by new member Dr Ang RY.

'It was alarming,' said Dr Raymond Chua, the outgoing Honorary Secretary.

'How could a new member who had just joined for a couple of months, and whom we knew nothing about, be picked over someone who has been with SMA for more than 15 years?

Some of the older members immediately began checking the attendance list.

Dr Chua said: 'We found that about 80 of the 102 who turned up were new members who joined between January and March this year.'

As it dawned on them that a leadership grab was imminent, some older members at the AGM tried asking the newcomers who they were, what they stood for, and why they wanted to be in charge. They got only the briefest answers, they said.

Dr Wong said he tried suggesting that new members serve a stint on SMA's various sub-committees before standing for election to leadership positions. But such suggestions went unheeded as the election proceeded, with more newcomers winning executive committee positions by landslide margins.

Dr Chua said: 'We were simply outnumbered. Technically, they got in legitimately.'

He added that the way the election proceeded was so unusual, it was hard to imagine that the takeover was not a planned effort.

Older members were keen to know if the newcomers shared SMA's vision and values, including fostering and preserving the unity and aim of purpose of the medical profession as a whole. But almost a fortnight into their new roles, the new leaders of SMA were not entertaining calls from the media this week. New President Dr Ang told The Straits Times a press release would be issued 'in a few days' together with the new council's 'scientist mentor' Dr Lim LH, and added that until then, the council would not answer any questions.

A check showed that Dr Ang had previously authored a blog and had written posts criticising the SMA's support of non-evidence based therapies.


In reality SMA's constitution has enough safeguards to make sure that something like that cannot happen, but if you are a doctor who thinks that the SMA should take a more pro-active stance in promoting evidence-based medicine and combating quackery, do leave your contact details in the comments section and angry doc will see if we can work something out...

Alternotopia News 5

Bonus Bogus Story

Reflexology Council Denounces Minireflexology Claims

The Alternotopia Reflexology Council (ARC) has voiced its objections to a bid by the Alternotopia Minireflexology Association (AMA) to have minireflexology incorporated into the national healthcare system.

In a letter to the Ministry of Health, the ARC stated that 'currently there is no scientific evidence for the claims by minireflexology practitioners that pressure to different areas in the heels of the feet (which represent the anotomical areas of the feet in foot reflexology) in turn stimulate the different anatomical areas of the body, or that pressure and massage to these areas in the heels yield similar therapeutic responses to pressure and massage of the feet themselves.'

A spokesman from the ARC told Alternotopia Times that the letter was submitted to the Health Minister yesterday, and said that it is 'patently ridiculous to speculate that one small part of the foot can represent the anatomy and reflexologic function of the whole foot'.

"Imagine what the AMA would say, if some other organisation claimed that pressure to the part of the heel representing the heel in minireflexology achieved the same effect as massaging the heel in minireflexology, and hence had the same effect as mainstream reflexology," he added.

Alternotopia News 4

Bonus Bogus Story

HSA Smashes Homeopathic Remedy Piracy Ring

The Homeopathic Sciences Authority (HSA) raided an underground factory producing bootleg homeopathic remedies and arrested more than 20 men yesterday.

According to the HSA spokesman, the piracy ring obtained legitimate homeopathic remedies from pharmacies, and then diluted them by a factor of 1000 and divided the solution into a thousand bottles similar to the ones used by the legitimate manufacturers. To ensure that the potency of the remedies is not increased a thousand-fold by the dilution, they would allow the solution to evaporate to a thousandth of its volume, before making it up to full volume again before bottling the solutions for sale.

The HSA reminds the public that homeopathic remedies should be obtained only from legitimate sources, and after a consultation with a registered homeopath.

Alternotopia News 3

Bonus Bogus Story

Rocke may sue Alternotopia Government for Breaking Patent

Rocke, the crystal product manufacturer which holds the patent for quartz crystal, announced that it intends to dissuade the Alternotopia government from its plan to break its patent, and has not ruled out suing the government if it does not reverse the decision.

The government had announced earlier this week that it will break the patent for quartz crystal in an effort to reduce the cost of treatment for back pain sufferers in Alternotopia. The Ministry of Health estimates that back pain affects up to 50% of working Alternotopians, and the condition is estimated to cost the nation A$1 billion each year. Crystal therapy remains the most effective cure for back pain, but the prohibitive cost of quartz crystals has meant that many sufferers could not afford the therapy.

"We regret that the Alternotopia government had made the decision and announcement unilaterally, and that the company had not been consulted, or asked what we could do to assist," a spokesperson for Rocke's Alternotopia subsidiary said.

Alternotopia News 2

Bonus Bogus Story

Man in Coma after stubbing toe

A man is in a coma after stubbing his toe on a rock yesterday.

Eyewitnesses told Alternotopia Times that the man was walking on the foot reflexology path at a park when he stubbed his right big toe on a cobblestone and fell, striking his head against a steel railing in the process. He was taken by ambulance to Alternotopia Reflexology Hospital (ARH).

A spokesman from ARH told Alternotopia Times that reflexologists at the hospital believe that the coma is due to an accumulation of toxins in the man's brain.

"The big toe corresponds to the anatomical area of the brain. The swelling and brusing from the injury has disrupted the life force through the toe and prevents the discharge of toxins from the brain, and so we are applying intensive massage therapy to the area to clear the blockage," said the spokesman.

Alternotopia News 1

Bonus Bogus Story

Man Charged with Biomagnetic Bracelet Abuse

A man was charged in court yesterday with biomagnetic bracelet abuse. If convicted, he may be sentenced for up to five years in jail.

Central Neodymium Bureau (CNB) agents found the man wearing two biomagnetic bracelets during a routine search. The man, who was obesed, claimed that he had a knee-pain problem and due to his higher body weight, required two biomagnetic bracelets for effective pain-relief.

Biomagnetic bracelets are widely used for pain-relief and providing a sense of well-being; however, when used excessively, it can induce euphoria and this has led to its abuse by some.

The CNB reminds the public that under Alternotopia law, persons found wearing more than one biomagnetic bracelets are guilty of biomagnetic bracelet abuse, and may be sentenced to up to five years' imprisonment. Persons found in possession of five or more bracelets are presumed to be guilty of trafficking, which carries a mandatory death penalty.

Healthcare Group proposes Grading Scheme for Clinics

Bonus Bogus Story

The Healthcare Group (HCG) led by Minister of State Ms Hor Ker Futt has proposed a Grading Scheme for General Practitioner (GP) Clinics in Singapore.

"We were inspired by the success the National Environmental Agency had with improving the standard of hygiene and housekeeping at food stalls with their grading system. We believe a similar system will encourage GPs to achieve a higher standard of care and service, and allow consumers to make a more informed choice when patronising GPs," said Ms Hor.

"With the IT system now in place to monitor the Key Performance Indicators (KPIs) of all the clinics, it is now possible for us to publish this data on the Ministry's website. However, it is felt that the average consumer may find it inconvenient to have to access the web to find this information, and that they may have difficulty interpreting the data. Hence, we propose that this information be presented in a simple, easy-to-understand grading scheme, and make each clinic display this information prominently on the premises."

Under the proposed scheme, clinics in the top 10 percentile will be graded 'A', while those above the 75th percentile and the 50th percentile will be graded 'B' and 'C' respectively. Clinics below the 50th percentile will be given a 'D' grading.

"We understand that there may be concerns from GPs regarding this system. However, we will continue to monitor the KPIs and update the grades every quarter."

The HCG also had another inspiration from food stalls.

"We are also proposing that a system similar to the 'Healthier Choice' implemented by the Health Promotion Board for hawker stalls be adopted by clinics. Clinics which give their patrons the option to purchase cheaper generic medications will display a 'Ask for cheaper drugs' sticker at their dispensary counters."

Formed in August 2006, the HCG was given the task of studying how Singaporeans can continue to have access to good-quality healthcare at the out-patient, in-patient and step-down care stages, and be able to pay for it.

Hospital to implement online bidding for clinic appointments

Bonus Bogus Story

Singapore -

Southern Hope Hospital has opened some of its subsidised clinic slots for online bidding.

Mr Bhidnau, the hospital's Senior Clinic Manager told Straight Times this at a press conference yesterday.

"After the introduction of the Feedback Score system, we received many requests from our patients to see our doctors with higher scores. As these were subsidised patients, we could not accommodate their requests and this had led to some unhappiness. Following a discussion with the hospital medical board, we decided to release eight slots or one hour from each clinic session for bidding by the patients to accomodate this demand," said Mr Bhidnau.

Patients are now able to make their bids for clinic appointments online via the hospital's website. Auction for the clinic appointments opens two weeks before the date of the consultation, and ends one week before. The starting bid for each consultation is $20, which is the standard consultation charge for subsidised patients. There is also a 'book it now' option whereby a patient can book the appointment for $60 before the auction ends.

"The 'book it now' option allows patients who do not wish to wait to secure their appointments. This is equivalent to the consultation fees at the non-subsidised clinic. We have also made $60 the maximum bid allowed to ensure the subsidised clinics remain affordable," explained Mr Bhidnau.

"So far the response has been positive, but there is no current plan to expand the system to more than one hour per session as we want to keep the costs of healthcare affordable."

MOH reveals plan for mutual feedback system

Bonus Bogus Story

Singapore -

The Ministry of Health will implement a mutual feedback system as a part of the nation-wide shared electronic medical record.

Mr Yee Beh, a spokesman for the ministry announced this at the pilot lauch of the electronic medical record system (EMRS) at Southern Hope Hospital yesterday.

Under this system, doctors and patients may leave a feedback for each other after each clinical encounter. The feedback will be recorded on the electronic medical record, and will consist of a comment and a score. A doctor or patient will receive one point for a positive feedback, zero point for a neutral feedback, and minus-one point for a negative feedback. The current scores for the doctors will be posted at the MOH website and at the respective medical establishment the doctors are working at, while the scores for the patients will be available to the doctor on their electronic medical records.

"We got this idea from online auction systems. We believe this system will give greater transparency to the way our healthcare system functions, and allow doctors and patients to be more responsive to each other," said Mr Yee.

"Currently all medical centres have their own system of feedback for patients, but there isn't a single uniform system. By making this a centralised, standardised system, we allow feedback to be collected and interpreted more systematically and completely."

"Also, doctors do not currently have a way to communicate to each other regarding a patient's health-seeking behaviour. The implementation of a centralised EMRS allows them to give their input, and would facilitate better management of the patients."

"We give each party the chance to leave a score and a comment explaining why they left a positive, negative, or neutral score. This is more meaningful than a simple scoring system, and also allows other parties to have an insight on the clinical episode. As each doctor and patient is given the chance to leave a feedback for each clinical encounter, this will over time ensure that the feedback score is reflective of a pattern of behaviour, and not the result of a single good or bad encounter."

Mr Yee also explained that the system may also have wider application other than allowing doctors and patients to learn about each other.

"We are currently looking into incorporating the feedback score into the periodic performance review of our staff, and several insurance providers have expressed interest in using the score to classify clients into different risk groups for purpose of determining premium rates."

Evidence-based Complaint Resolution

Dear Sir,

1. We refer to your complaint letter against Dr Angry dated 31 Jun 2006.

2. We have spoken with Dr Angry, and his account of the events during the consultation differs from the one given in your letter.

3. As there is no third-party witness of the consultation to verify which of the accounts is accurate, we decided to perform a statistical analysis to determine who may be at fault.

4. Dr Angry has three clinic sessions a week, and he sees an average of 20 cases during each session. This gives a monthly total of 240 cases. He receives an average of two complaints per month. This translates to a complaint rate or Unsatisfactory Clinical Encounter Rate (UCER) of 0.83%.

5. Our record shows that the visit on 31 Jun 2006 was your fourth visit to our clinic. This is also your second complaint letter against one of our staff. This translates to an UCER of 50%.

6. Given the figures, it is fair to conclude that the probabilty of the cause of the unsatisfactory outcome originating from you is greater.

7. We hope you will reflect on your attitude, and seek counseling on your dysfunctional health-seeking behaviour. We can assist you with a referral to a mental health specialist at our centre.

8. Thank you.


Assistant Director
Corporate Communications

A New Paradigm in Vehicular Safety

Bonus Bogus Story

China -

A leading automobile manufacturer in China is hoping to replace conventional seat-belts with 'qi-belts'.

Mr Zhuang Che, spokesman for Qia Motors revealed this to reporters in a news conference at the company's headquarters in Wuhan yesterday.

'Conventional seat-belts have been proven to save lives. However, they are made based on Newtonian physics. We are convinced that equally effective, if not better safety may be achieved using a system based on traditional Chinese philosophy,' said Mr Zhuang.

The novel system of qi-belts will be based on the ancient Chinese concept of qi, an invisible universal force.

'Qi cannot be measured using any instrument or device because modern science has yet to come up with something to measure it - that is the failure of modern science. However, the potency of qi has been demonstrated by practitioners all across the country. We have sufficient anecdotal accounts to conclude that it will offer adequate protection to passengers in the situation of vehicular collision. I am sure you have seen TV scenes of qigong masters having cars run over their abdomen without any apparent harm done to them, right?'

'Furthermore, conventional seat-belts are made of synthetic materials that seek to restrain the passenger. Qi-belts are all-natural and work on the more holistic principle of balancing the forces of motion and stillness when the vehicle meets an impact, so it's better for the passenger.'

According to Mr Zhuang, qigong masters working for the company will 'yun' or transfer their qi to car seats, thus imbuing them with the invisible force.

'All our qigong masters are certified by the National Qigong Council, which is made up of top qigong practitioners, so the quality of our qi-belt is assured.'

The qi-belt prototype will undergo field tests next month. The company is in the process of obtaining dummies for the crash-tests.

Health Promotion Board reverses anti-cancer, anti-heart disease strategy

Health Promotion Board - An organisation that makes you believe that if you lead a healthy lifestyle, you stand a good chance of finally dropping dead suddenly without pain, suffering and big hospital bills.

- The Hobbit's Nonsensical Glossary of Healthcare Sector Terms


Bonus Bogus Story

Singapore -

The Health Promotion Board (HPB) announced today that it will cease all programmes related to the prevention of cancers and cardiovascular diseases such as heart attacks and strokes.

Mr Wee Ah Rong, spokesman for HPB, announced this at a press conference today.

"HPB has always based its health promotion strategies on the principal causes of death in Singapore, with the understanding that the biggest problems should be the ones we are tackling. However, the task force set up to study our overall strategy this year made the observation that if we were to reduce significantly the incidence of death from cancers and cardiovascular diseases, and pneumonia which is usually caused by debilitation from the diseases above, the current 5th leading cause of death, being 'accidents, poisoning and violence', would quickly become the number one cause of death in Singapore." Mr Wee explained.

"After consultation with the Health Minister, we concluded it would be unacceptable for a modern nation like Singapore to have violent death as the leading cause of death – we would be the laughing stock of the region and indeed the international community."

HPB will now instead divert its resources to making sure that Singapore continues to maintain the current status quo.

"As a First World nation, our citizens deserve to die from First World diseases, and HPB will spare no efforts to make that happen." Said Mr Wee.

Doctor under investigation over Traditional Chinese Medicine Practitioners Act

It seems that posts which touch on traditional Chinese Medicine generate the most 'heat' for me. :)

To belabour my point, I present another...

Bonus Bogus Story

Singapore -

A doctor is under investigation by the Singapore Medical Council under the allegation of practice in contravention to the Traditional Chinese Medicine Practitioners Act.

The doctor is alleged to have given his patient advice over his medical condition relating to traditional Chinese medicine (TCM) concepts.

A complaint was lodged by the Traditional Chinese Medicine Practitioners Board to the Singapore Medical Council, which is investigating the case.

Mr Quek Sin Say, spokesman for the TCM Practitioner Board informed Straight Times that the case was brought to their attention by one of their members, a TCM Practitioner whose premises was next door to the doctor’s clinic, who notified the Board of 'irregularities' in the doctor's practices when a patient who visited the doctor subsequently consulted him.

"We cannot reveal the identity of either party involved or the specifics of the case as it is still under preliminary investigation. The contention here is that the doctor has given a patient medical advice framed in the language of TCM, which we believe to be in contravention to the TCM Practitioner Act, which clearly states that 'no person shall carry out any prescribed practice of traditional Chinese medicine unless he is a qualified person in respect of that prescribed practice of traditional Chinese medicine and he carries out that prescribed practice in accordance with the conditions of his registration'. Moreover, he also charged the patient consultation fees during the same sitting, which is again in contravention of the TCM Practitioner Act."

Straight Times received a phone call from a general practitioner, who asked to remain anonymous, regarding the case.

"It’s actually quite common for western doctors to frame our advice to our patients in language that is familiar and acceptable to them, and these include concepts like 'wind' and 'heatiness'. I don’t see what the big fuss is," said the angry doctor.

"In fact, co-opting the patient’s belief system is encouraged and indeed taught during our community medicine course in medical school. Going by the Bolam Principle, I don't see anything wrong with what the doctor did."

The Ministry of Health declined to comment on the case.

Singapore Idol Runner-up to be Cancer Screening Ambassador

The comment by my disciple on the Breast Cancer Awareness post inspired this…

Bonus Bogus Story

Singapore -

Sylvester Sim, runner-up in the Singapore idol contest, will be the ambassador for Prostate Cancer Awareness month this year.

This was revealed at a press conference at the Health Promotion Board yesterday.

Mr Dee Arh Yee, spokesman for the HPB, explained that Sylvester, or Sly as he is known by his fans, has the wide appeal and recognition that will make him an effective icon to spread the message for early screening of prostate cancer.

The tagline for this year’s campaign is "You can never have too many tattoos. Or too many prostate checks."

Sylvester had this to say about his new role, "I think it is important to educate men that prostate cancer screening is a simple procedure that is cheaper, faster, than less painful than getting a tattoo. So if you have got a tattoo or are thinking of getting one, think about getting a prostate examination as well!"

The campaign will run from 1 to 28 November.

Sylvester is the second Singapore Idol contestant to become a Health Ambassador. Taufik Batisah, Singapore Idol winner, was made the anti-smoking Ambassador in August this year.


Sly demonstrates how a prostate examination is done.

Ci Bei Hospital to study effect of sutras on patients

The post on the clinical effect of prayer got me thinking: what if the concept was carried over to the local scene and to its ridiculous conclusion?

Bonus Bogus Story

Singapore -

Ci Bei Hospital, the largest chronic-sick hospital in Singapore, will be conducting clinical trials on the effects of recordings of sutras-chanting on patients.

This was announced by the Head of Clinical Trial Division, Venerable Chen-tao, at a press conference today.

‘We noticed that the families of many of our patients have placed audio-players that played recordings of the sutras being chanted by monks in loop by their bedside as a means of praying for the good health and comfort for the patients. This led us to wonder if the positive effects of such recordings can be proven or measured clinically.’

Several studies in the west have shown that prayer has a positive effect on clinical outcomes in patients. (See related story.)

Ci Bei Hospital has tied up with local IT company Derivative in this study. Derivative will develop and donate MP3 players in the shape of a statuette of the Avalokiteshvara Bodhisattva. Nick-named the i-Bodh, the MP3 player will be made to play a recording of the Amitabha Sutra chanted by the monks at the Ci Bei Temple for a total of eight hours a day.

‘We are very optimistic about this study, as it marks a few ‘firsts’. It is the first of its kind to be conducted in Asia, and the first one done on Buddhist sutras, and the first one done using recording rather than ‘live’ prayers,’ said Venerable Chen-tao.

Patients will be randomly assigned to two groups, and one of the groups will be provided with the i-Bodh. The progress of each group will be monitored.

‘If there is any significant improvement in the group for which the sutra is being chanted, it will mean that Ci Bei should look into providing this service for all our patients. But even if there are no objective clinical improvements, I believe that the comfort provided by the sutras will be welcomed by the patients.’

Preliminary results of the trial are expected in the middle of next year.

Additonal Disclaimer

angry doc has the utmost respect for Buddhism and any religious and/or charitable organisation which may be construed to be alluded to in this story - but let's face it: even a totally fictional story needs a context.

Ministry of Health rejects tobacco ban, considers registration of smokers

Bonus Bogus Story

Singapore –

The Ministry of Health announced today that it does not support the recent call by National Cancer Centre to ban tobacco use, but is considering registration of all smokers as a means to reduce the healthcare cost from smoking-related diseases.

Mr See Ker Lett, spokesman for the ministry, told Straight Times this at a press conference today.

‘It is unrealistic and impractical for Singapore to ban smoking in this era of globalisation. The government’s anti-smoking strategy has always been one of health education and protecting non-smokers from second-hand smoke. However, the decision to take up or to stop smoking must remain a personal choice. As such, the ministry is now considering making smokers take personal responsibility for the harmful effects of smoking. We are now looking at withdrawing the medical subsidy for smokers when they are treated or admitted for conditions known to be associated with tobacco use.’

Smoking is known to cause heart disease, stroke, and lung cancer.

‘Under this scheme, smokers will be required to show their identity cards and have their personal particulars recorded when purchasing cigarettes and tobacco. This information will be stored in a central registry that may be accessed by all restructured hospitals and government polyclinics.’

Mr See assured Singaporeans that the information will not prejudice smokers in terms of their medical treatment, but only have a bearing on the medical subsidy.

When asked if this scheme discriminates against and penalises smokers, Mr See replied:

‘Certainly it discriminates, but it does not penalise; rather, I think we should see this scheme as rectifying a situation where non-smoking tax-payers are forced to subsidise the lifestyle choice of smokers.’

Man arrested for protesting against call for tobacco ban

Bonus Bogus Story

Singapore –

A man was arrested yesterday for staging a protest outside National Cancer Centre.

The man, who claimed to be a doctor but declined to give his name, told Straight Times that he was protesting against National Cancer Centre’s campaign to ban tobacco products in Singapore.

Straight Times managed to speak with the man before he was taken away by police.

‘As doctors, our role in primary prevention should be patient education and persuasion. To try to abdicate our responsibilities as doctors in convincing our patients to stop an unhealthy habit by seeking legislation against it is betraying the patient-doctor relationship and an affront to the idea of patient autonomy,’ said the angry doctor.

‘Besides, it’s an insult to our policy-makers to think that they will not ban tobacco imports when the cost for treating tobacco-related diseases and running anti-smoking campaigns has exceeded the revenues from tobacco tariffs.’

‘Smoking also causes heart disease and strokes, but the cardiologists and neurologists have not sought to ban tobacco use. On the other hand, an unhealthy diet and sexual promiscuity are the respective causes of colorectal cancer and cervical cancer, but we do not see NCC trying to get the government to ban these. If we reduce the deaths from heart disease and strokes, Singaporeans will live longer, and of course we all know that the older you get, the higher your chances for getting cancers!’

‘We all have to die someday. The choice is usually between a quick and sudden death from a heart attack or a stroke, or a slow, painful death from cancer. I believe the choice should lie with the individual and not the state.’

‘I am aware that cancer is the leading cause of death in Singapore, but as doctors, we should concern ourselves not with trying to ‘cure’ the statistics of the principal causes of death and life expectancy, but with educating patients on the impact their lifestyle choices have on their own health, and leaving the ultimate responsibility to them.’

The man is now under police custody. It is understood that he will be transferred to the Institute of Mental Health for psychiatric assessment. It is not known if the man is himself a smoker.

Oranges and Lemons

Bonus Bogus Story

Singapore –

Average Hospital will replace the old number-based queue system at its outpatient clinics with a system based on fruits from next month onwards.

Mr Lam Boo Tan, manager of the hospital’s IT department announced this today at a press conference.

‘We received feedback from our clinic staff and clients that the old number-based queue system is a source of stress for both parties. We have displayed prominent signs to inform our clients that queue numbers may not be called in sequence, but oftentimes they will still inquire at registration or enter the consultation room before their number has been called to confirm when they see another number called before theirs. This disrupts clinic function and causes delay for all parties concerned.’

The new system, now under pilot in one of the clinics, uses a sequence of four icons of fruits instead of numerals. The icons are not assigned a specific numerical value, but are assigned in numerical sequence using a patented encoding system to ensure no duplication.

As there is no predictable pattern to the sequence the fruits are displayed in, patients can only know if their turn to see the doctor has come up by matching the fruits displayed on the display screen with those on their chits.

So far the system has received positive feedback from the staff and patients.

‘We have encountered some problems with confusion over oranges and lemons due to their similar appearance, but we will be customising the display to use familiar local fruits like durians and papayas before we implement this system hospital-wide.’ said Mr Lam.

Man charged with giving unsound medical advice

If only...

Bonus Bogus Story

Singapore -

A man was charged in court today for wrongfully causing the blindness and loss of limb of another man.

Mr Ngo Yeet Aw, 56, is charged with causing grevious bodily harm to Mr Watt Eh Foo, also 56.

Mr Ngo allegedly advised Mr Watt, a diabetes patient, to ignore a recommendation by his doctor to start on insulin therapy. Mr Watt became blind last month as a complication of his poorly-controlled diabetes. As a result of his visual impairment, he injured his left leg, which subsequently became gangrenous and had to be amputated.

Police arrested Mr Ngo after a complaint was filed by Mr Watt’s doctor, who cannot be named because he is a potential defendant in the case. He was charged in court today.

“I told him he should be started on insulin before his eyes and legs become affected, but he said his good friend told him that people who start insulin will end up with multiple complications. Idiots don’t realise that the poorly-controlled diabetes is the reason why they have all these complications and why they need to be on insulin in the first place, not the other way round!” said the angry doctor.

Mr Ngo’s lawyer, Mr Susa, told Straight Times that he plans to use the insanity plea again, but this time with a twist.

“Anyone who takes the word of a layman over a doctor in the matters of medical treatment can arguably be called insane, so my client’s words cannot be directly responsible for the plaintiff’s insane actions. If anything, the doctor should be censured for not picking up and treating his insanity!” said Mr Susa.

Mr Watt is currently warded at the Institute of Mental Health for psychiatric assessment. Straight Times’ sources inform us that the preliminary assessment by the psychiatrist as “Insane? Maybe. Stupid? Definitely.”