Angry Doctor

Saturday, December 09, 2006

Alternotopia News 1

Bonus Bogus Story

Man Charged with Biomagnetic Bracelet Abuse

A man was charged in court yesterday with biomagnetic bracelet abuse. If convicted, he may be sentenced for up to five years in jail.

Central Neodymium Bureau (CNB) agents found the man wearing two biomagnetic bracelets during a routine search. The man, who was obesed, claimed that he had a knee-pain problem and due to his higher body weight, required two biomagnetic bracelets for effective pain-relief.

Biomagnetic bracelets are widely used for pain-relief and providing a sense of well-being; however, when used excessively, it can induce euphoria and this has led to its abuse by some.

The CNB reminds the public that under Alternotopia law, persons found wearing more than one biomagnetic bracelets are guilty of biomagnetic bracelet abuse, and may be sentenced to up to five years' imprisonment. Persons found in possession of five or more bracelets are presumed to be guilty of trafficking, which carries a mandatory death penalty.

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